Happy Holidays Indeed
by Ad Astra Per Alia Porci
Summary: NS. A super late XMas fic. Nick needs some help to appreciate Christmas...
1. Nick the Cynic

A/N: What's that? You want a Christmas fic two months after Christmas? Well... it seems a little weird... but alright. Just for you.  
Haha, I started this back in December, then went down south for the break and forgot about it. I was just cleaning out my computer when I stumbled across it. It was only missing the ending (chapter 4)so I figured I'd finish it up and post it anyway. Normally I'd save it for next year, but Nick's a bit cynical and I didn't think it'd fit next year. Plus, Nick and Sara need more fics... Sandals are catching up. Hope you like it. As always, feedback is appreciated.

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Nick Stokes stared incredulously at the traffic light in front of him; he had never paused to reflect the colours before today. Red and green. God he hated those stupid colours! If he never saw them paired together again it'd be too soon – but it seemed unavoidable now that he'd noticed that the annoying combo had somehow managed to escape the confines of the season and worm its way into everyday life.

The longer he sat idling at that intersection, the red glow of his captor mixing with the rest of the temporarily festively-lit city to bathe his Denali in the colours he so despised, the more frustrated he became. In a fruitless attempt to distract himself from the funk that had darkened his mood Nick flipped the radio on, hoping to hear a depressing story sung in a country twang; focusing on someone else's problems would surely make his anti-Xmas dilemma seem trivial."_Yule tide carols_--" Nick let out a grumbled curse as his favourite station betrayed him. He angrily stabbed at the preset controls, cutting Bing Crosby off mid-sentence in a quest to find anything that didn't rub his face in today's date:

"--_by a reindeer, as she was_--" Another curse.

"--_but it's a green Christmas for m_--" It didn't even have to be a country song anymore. He just wanted something that wasn't seasonally dominated. He'd even settle for heavy metal at this point.

He growled as each channel failed him. "_Ho-oly Night. All is_--"

"_Simply having a wonderf_--"

"--_stmas baby, you don't have to be alone_…" Now he remembered why he had turned the damned radio off on the way to the scene. He shook his head, knowing he was foolish to expect anything else this early on Christmas morning.

Finally the light had turned to green, still an irritating colour but welcomed over its counterpart, and Nick burst through the intersection. He pushed past the speed limit as he headed back to the lab with the intention of holing himself up in an evidence room, away from the exasperatingly cheerful world at large, and finish off his case. This year it was the only way he felt like spending Christmukkah (as the day was dubbed in today's newspaper, a phrase apparently stolen from some teen drama on television). Celebrating the world's peace and love just seemed hypocritical after all he had struggled through this year; hopefully he'd be in better spirits for next year.

As he drove through the streets towards his work he couldn't help but notice the subtle changes in his city. The neon lights that polluted the air, promoting eternal daytime all year long, had ever so slightly become dominated by the two colours that had recently sparked his desire to become colour-blind. The shady characters that normally littered the streets seemed to have taken the night off; perhaps they were trying to preserve the innocence of holidays by conducting their business indoors or perhaps they had all actually turned in for the night… either way they had made the sidewalks appear more welcoming. As he passed the unusually empty street corners he hoped that the majority of the women that "set up shop" there had indeed decided to be innocent for at least this one night. However, the cynical part of him reminded that now would be the ideal time to work: there were probably thousands of lonely, broken-hearted men to take advantage of tonight, each simply looking to not wake up alone on year's most magical and loving morning. He pressed the accelerator closer to the floor with that thought, springing forward to try and outrace his pessimistic mood.

If he did manage to beat it to the lab, it caught up mighty quickly. He supposed that the fact that the case he was working was about an elderly man beaten to death in a last-minute-shopping fight over a rare toy for his grandson wasn't helping his morale much. The good news was that it wasn't the most challenging of cases: all he really had to do was get one or two clues to link the offender to the crime and he'd be done. The attack had taken place in an area without cameras but there had been several witnesses to describe the man to the police. Nick had given the description and a surveillance tape of the store's entrance to the lab tech covering for Archie to find the man entering or leaving the place. There was also a sliver of hope that the idiot had paid for the toy he'd wrestled away from the old man before leaving… and that he may have used a credit card. Of all the cases to pull, he had certainly gotten an easy one. Normally this thought would have made him happy – it meant more time relaxing in the break room with whomever else was on shift tonight – but tonight he just wanted the distraction of a mysterious case.


	2. The Grinch

As predicted, within an hour, the case was wrapped up; Nick had found both hair and fibre transfer on the victim and Archie's replacement had found the footage of the man in the store. The offender had been positively identified, arrested and charged with the elderly person's murder shortly thereafter. Merry Christmas to the poor child that would have gotten that toy; he had not only lost the company of this adult, whatever the relation may be, on Xmas morning but he also lost his toy since it was evidence. People really need to learn foresight.

With the paperwork half-heartedly filled out and nothing else left to do, Nick wandered slowly through the halls until he reached the break room. Upon entering through the heavy door Nick's ears were assaulted once more by Christmas music. "_…listen, to hear sleigh bells in the snow. The snow. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write_--" Nick strode purposefully across the room towards the coffee, beside which the portable stereo was also set up, and tried to ignore the song which he had never really sympathized with but usually enjoyed nonetheless. At the moment he would have preferred nails on a chalk board. As he poured the soothing black liquid to the rim of his cup, which he noted with displeasure had been switched to red and green plastic ones, he reached over for the cord of the stereo. "_May your days be merry and br_--" he yanked it out of the wall without removing his eyes from his coffee. Satisfied by the silence he dropped the cord on the floor and put the coffee pot down and busied himself by adding sugar and cream to his cup.

"I see you're in the spirit of things," Sara noted as she strolled into the break room. "You know, Greg warned me about you today; he's been calling you Scrooge."

"Bah humbug." Nick replied dully as he turned around to face his colleague. She looked amused. "And I'd say I'm more of a Grinch; money plays no factor in this. My heart is simply two sizes too small this year." Suddenly she didn't look so amused anymore, Nick noted with mild irritation. Now she looked at him with eyes filled with concern and it only made him feel worse, like he was dragging her down now too.

A frown flickered across her face as she studied Nick's slumped and tussled appearance. She had assumed that Greg was embellishing Nick's bad mood; she figured that the Texan had made fun of Greg's Santa hat or silly light-up Rudolph tie and that the former lab-rat was just exaggerating. However, standing before him now, listening to his emotionless voice she realized how serious it was. Nick normally loved this time of year. Hell, he was normally the one in the Santa hat, insisting that he be addressed as "St. Nicholas" while within the lab walls. Sara knew better than most how easily the magic can be zapped out of Christmas… but she hadn't ever considered that it would be lost to him. At least now she knew why he had stayed to work in Vegas this year. "Any chance of it growing three sizes any time soon?" she asked, not being able to disguise the disappointment in her voice. She wasn't disappointed in him; she was disappointed in all the events that had conspired against him and finally managed to crush his spirit.

"Doesn't seem very likely," he warned. "However, if ever there were a time to hold out for a miracle, I hear it's around this time." He offered her a weak smile which she returned.


	3. You Amaze Me

A subject change seemed in order right then. "So, how's your case?"

"All wrapped up and waiting for Griss under the tree," he gestured to the tiny Christmas tree in the corner, which indeed did have a file folder with a bow sitting beneath it. Sara laughed loudly as she caught sight of the paperwork, pleased mostly that he still had some humour and spirit buried within. Nick seemed proud as he watched her amused reaction and a genuine, though still small compared to the one he sported this time last year, smile spread across his lips.

"Clever," she replied through a grin after her laughter had died down. She began to prepare some coffee for herself. "My arson was a bust," she continued, not waiting for him to ask about her case. "It wasn't arson at all. You know that today is the last day of Chanukah, right? Well the neighbour had accidentally bought fairly fast-burning candles this year and overnight the Shamash burnt real low and caught the menorah on fire." Nick quirked an eyebrow; he had just assumed that menorah's would have been made of inflammable substances and said as much to Sara. "Yeah, I know. The only reason this one caught was because it was a really cheap one… I'm tempted to say he got it at a Dollar Store somewhere. It was just plastic coated with gold spray paint, so it went up fairly quickly." Sara added a drop more crème and indicated to the couch.

"Didn't you pull a fake case last year too?" Nick asked as the pair strolled across the room to sit down.

"Yeah," she smiled slightly. "That one wasn't as serious though. It was called in as a B&E, but the robber was really the dad pretending to be Santa. The man and his wife were newly divorced and this was going to be the dad's first Christmas without his son so he wanted to do something special," Sara paused and giggled as the case details came swimming through her mind. "He dressed up in full Santa gear and entered through a window in the hallway that he knew never latched shut. He planned on scooping up some of the presents from under the tree so that he could fill his sack, then wake up the kid with some noise, climb a quarter of the way up the chimney and then slide down just as his son entered the room so he would discover Santa depositing gifts under the tree…"

"Right!" Nick exclaimed as he remembered the story now. "And he didn't tell the ex-wife! The noise woke her up instead of the son and as she went to investigate she noticed the window left open and a dirty footprint on the carpet below!" He finally let out a tiny laugh. He tired of holding his coffee and set it on the table beside him.

"Yeah. Then the guy gets stuck as he's in the chimney because the sacks too big now and so the woman just finds half her presents missing and half a body dangling from her chimney!" Sara giggled a little more freely and Nick joined in.

"Geez, the luck that you have around the holidays is ridiculous. You get all the good cases," he said wistfully.

"That's karma trying to make up for all shitty Xmases I've had before now… or maybe the spirits of the holidays are just trying to win me over again. Either way, I think I'm going to hold out at least until next year… I'm trying to draw a case that involves an elf somehow," Sara laughed, unaware that the brief mention of her past had sobered Nick once more. She turned to look at him when his voice didn't join hers. "What? Elves are funny," she defended.

Nick smiled lightly and shook his head. "Not that. It's just… how can you be so… I'm almost temped to say happy but it doesn't _really_ fit. Close though. I mean, you're a very talented secret keeper and I don't know any specifics, but I have gathered that holidays were never a happy occasion for you. It's a wonder that you can smile at all when they roll around. Yet, every year you come in – if not actually cheerful than a very good imitation of it – ready to tackle crime with the same gusto as always. You just… you amaze me sometimes…" he averted his eyes. "I wish I had even half your spirit."

Sara set her coffee on the floor in front of her. She was disappointed that she had inadvertently ended the brief light-hearted portion of their conversation; however Nick obviously needed to talk about things. "Hey," she waited until he looked over at her again. Her eyes visibly softened as their gazes met. "You have ten times my spirit," she said with no room for argument. "Don't belittle yourself like that. You've been to hell and back again this year and, since your past is just as mysterious as mine, I'm going to assume it's not the first time," Nick started to deny that but Sara continued. "I don't want to hear unless you want to tell me." She paused long enough for Nick to nod. "All I'm trying to say is that… you don't give yourself enough credit. Holidays are always the hardest and this is the first one since you were rescued. So, maybe you haven't found your smile again just yet… but I have no doubt that you will." She reached out and cupped his face softly, making sure that he got her message loud and clear: "You, Nick Stokes, are the best and bravest man I know. You amaze me everyday."

Nick placed a soft, grateful hand on top of the one she had placed on his face. They stayed in that position for a few more seconds, enjoying the rare opportunity to study each other. Finally Nick gripped her hand and moved it to his mouth. He gave it a sweet kiss and settled it between his two hands in his lap. "Thank you, Sara," he replied almost bashfully. He leaned back into the couch and let out a loud sigh. "I'm sorry I killed your mood."

"Don't be; this year it was just a very good imitation." The corners of Nick's mouth tugged upwards a tiny bit. Sara pulled her hand out of his and patted his knee before standing up. "Hey, what do you say we skip out early? Our cases are done. Its Xmas day. And there's only an hour and a half left in shift anyway… I'm sure Griss won't care. We can do whatever you want: grab breakfast, watch a movie, go for a drive and throw eggs at any Santa's we see wandering the streets... anything you want." She offered him her hand to help him up.

He hesitated a moment before accepting it. As soon as he was on his feet he scratched the back of his neck a bit self-consciously. "That's a temping offer; especially the Santa Claus thing… but I don't know what kind of company I'll be. I might ruin your day even more..."

"Nick, the only way you could ruin my day is by not coming with me," she assured. "I'm going to let Griss know we're leaving. Could you throw out my coffee please? Thanks," she didn't wait for his answer. "I'll see you in the locker room in five."


	4. It's Getting There

The music didn't bother him during the drive to Sara's apartment; Christmas carols weren't nearly as annoying when Sara's voice was singing along with them. He couldn't even really concentrate on the subject matter, just her beautiful, timid voice. As soon as the first melodic word floated past her lips his grated nerves were soothed. They had carpooled because Nick had felt like having company for the drive and Sara insisted on being the driver. He had grumbled at first but now, as he sat back in the car seat listening to Sara accompany the radio, he realized that this was the most content he had been in a long time.

As soon as they got to her place they went to the kitchen. They worked flawlessly around each other, as if making the vegetarian omelettes was a routine that they had perfected with years of practice. And even though he knew that it was actually just a by-product of processing crime scenes together for so long… just for now, Nick wanted to pretend that it wasn't anything work related. A whole new level of calm washed over him as he let his mind play the scenario that this wasn't his and Sara's first Christmas morning together, that the red and green pepper omelettes were an annual tradition.

As he reached his arms around her to dump the peppers he had just chopped into the bowl of eggs she was preparing, watching the colours swirl around as she blended their separate projects into one, he wasn't bothered by the colours anymore either.

They sat down with their breakfast to watch the animated Rudolph movie on television. It was only ten minutes into the movie when Nick realized that Sara was his miracle. Just the fact that she giggled whenever Hermy the Elf announced that he'd rather be a dentist let Nick know that things would get better. The joy she derived from a simple children's film, which she had undoubtedly seen a dozen times before, reminded him that you could survive the horrors of the world and still live and love as if you never had. Sara was his proof. His prior self was proof, too. They were survivors. They had each suffered their own traumas and viewed countless others through their jobs; still, there they sat, contentedly watching a child's program. He would find his smile again. He felt his heart swell a little more with love and gratitude that she had been able to remind him of that. He sighed peacefully as Sara giggled at Hermy yet again and he felt a tiny tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Is that a smile?" Sara asked as the sigh caught her attention.

Nick shrugged and borrowed theexcuse she hadused earlier inthe break room, "Elves are funny." He draped an arm loosely around her shoulders and she settled into the side of his body laughing. She rested her head on his shoulder and Nick propped his cheek against the top of it. So what if he wasn't fixed? His heart hadn't grown three sizes just yet, but it was getting there…

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A/N: Thanks for reading this despite the timing... I hope you enjoyed it. 


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